Cupids Revenge
by Lady Seren Dark Bunny Hope
Summary: Its Valentines Day on Atlantis. Someone is supposed to be going home for a date with their girl, but thanks to an unknown force the gate is locked and three men are in for a treat. Humour, romance and seasonal fun within! RI.


Michigan, USA - Girls Reality.

Dara Baldwin, leader of the girls, handed over the control crystal to Kimberley with a lot of worry on her face.

"And watch the paint job. Don't hit any debris; do you want me to drive? Or come with? Or go instead?" Dara continued, eyeing the puddle jumper unsurely.

"Naa, I'll be fine." Kimberley dismissed, taking the keys and smiled at her friend. "What's the worst that could happen?"

An alarm sounded from the key chain and Kimberley rolled her eyes. "That battery not dead yet?"

* * *

Somewhere is space - Atlantis Reality

Kimberley flipped switches and pressed buttons, bringing up Atlantis onto the heads up display. "Hello Atlantis, little miss match maker on her way to pick up capn. Gordon for his date port side."

* * *

John put his head in his hands and bit back a groan. 'No, please - no! Not her, any Wraith but her!'

"Miss Boyce, this is col. Carter. We welcome you to Atlantis." Sam looked sideways at John. "Will your visit with us be a long one?"

"Unfortunately no, just here to pick up Mack and we'll be on our way."

"Yes!" John power fished, then looked at everyone watching him. "What?"

"Is that Mack?" Kimberleys voice was hopeful.

"Uh, yes, yes it is." Sam replied and gave John the glare of all glares. "I trust you know how to get to the jumper bay?"

"Um, no. But I can land in the south pier." She suggested.

"Just try landing on the pier, Carter out."

"Do we have to let her in?" Sam could almost _swear_ the head of military personnel was whining at her.

"Get a team prepped just in case." Sam ordered, and stared at John. "And we will behave in front of our guests, understand?"

John nodded unconvincingly.

"They bring us zpms."

John nodded seriously.

* * *

Ronon observed the assembled group as they ran about in preparation for their visitor. He knew what john and Rodney thought. Teyla had told him she was waiting a while longer before making any decisions. He himself was waiting to see them in battle before deciding anything. 'The only way to truly judge someone is how they act in a fight; honor, strength and skills all show their depth.'

Rodney kept fidgeting in anticipation and John was going to wear a hole in the floor with his pacing.

As the jumper came into view, everyone stepped towards the building.

They watched as the ship dipped low before jumping up, slowing down as it sped towards the pier.

As it landed, it skidded and refused to stop. Everyone sucked in a breath, subtly walking backward.

* * *

"Oh crap oh crap-slow down slow down SLOW DOWN!" Kimberley screamed at the jumper, entering every command sequence she could think of. 'Where's the Anvil?'

Giving up hope, the pier wall closing in, Kimberley closed her eyes and threw her hands down on the consol, kangarooing forward as the jumper stopped suddenly.

* * *

Dara paused on her way into work. Her friend Bethany stopped short behind her. "Hey Dara, what's up?"

Dara looked around then shrugged. "Just got a bad feeling."

* * *

Rodney stepped up to the door and danced on the spot.

Slowly the hatch door opened and Kimberley stepped out.

"Where is the-ah what happened to you?" Rodney exclaimed.

Kimberley rolled her eyes and smiled to him, yawning a bit. "I just got off night shift. I figured get Mack, take him to the uni then crash for a few hours."

John walked around the puddle jumper and took in the image of Kimberley. There were dark circles under her eyes, her hair was up in a tight bun and her clothes seemed to hang off her.

Then he peered into the puddle jumper. "Any presents?"

"Just myself." She grinned.

"Do you want to crash here?" Jennifer suggested.

"Naa, where's Mack, I kinda want to be in my own bed in half an hour." She smiled at them.

Mack stood at the front of them and waved. "Hi Miss Boyce."

"Hey Mackaroonie, you ready to go?"

"Sure thing Miss Boyce."

'That Miss Boyce thing is getting old, fast.' She thought and moved aside to let him in. "I'll have him back before you know it!"

John watched as she entered the jumper and wondered if it was bad of him to hope she ran outta gas just on the other side.

* * *

Half an hour later, they were back at the pier, watching the jumper taking part in a smooth landing.

The first team looked to one another confused, and then worried as the back hatch opened and they could hear Kimberley yelling, but couldn't quite understand what she was saying.

"Perhaps we should get Doctor Beckett to translate?" Teyla suggested.

"No, I don't want her to meet him yet." John replied. "Problem?"

"Probem? Probem? Of corse ers a probem! Dara feckin locked me oot! Kinye believe-I mean-she-I-sure ah did it aat New Years bu still!" Kimberley spoke quickly and threw her hands into the air. "I've goat class, and wurk! And my wee beefriender and other stuffs that I gotta do and she locks me here for a week! Wit the hell am I gonnae dae!"

"Did anyone understand that?" Rodney asked the group.

"I caught the general message." John replied with a smile. "She's annoyed with Dara."

"ANNOYED! ANNOYED!" Kimberley yelled. "Damn skippy I'm annoyed! She used the lock code to keep me outta my universe for a week to get back at me for New Years!"

'Can we get that code?' John wondered and was glad he kept it to himself as Kimberley thundered past him. "Er, where do you think you're going?"

"To talk with Col Carter and ask if I can stay here for a week." Kimberley replied and kept on walking, ignoring transporters and taking the longest route possible to the command centre.

"Get lost?" Ronon asked as Kimberley eventually turned into the gate room.

"Nope, just took the scenic route to calm down so everyone can understand me." She replied and smiled at him.

John and Rodney grumbled as they handed over a power bar each to Chuck.

"Is Col Carter in?" Kimberley continued, not seeing the exchange behind her back.

"Head on in." Chuck spoke behind her and Kimberley turned around to smile at them.

Kimberley entered the room and John walked in at her back. Carter was talking with Mack, who stood at attention.

"Hi Kimberley, are you feeling better?" Carter asked, a little startled at the girls appearance. "Why don't you have a seat?"

"Thanks." Kimberley replied and sat down, looking up at them with a smile on her face. "I take it Mack filled you in?"

"Of the mission, the gate lock and the time period." Carter nodded. "Is there any possibility that Dara would have it set up like you did for one day?"

Kimberley thought about it and shook her head. "No, and I don't want to try it. When I asked Catherine to make the code I asked her to put in a secondary security device that would disable and bounce back any ships that got through the first code."

John looked at her from the corner of his eyes.

"I'm sure there's room for you at the inn." Sam smiled at her and Kimberley grinned thankfully in return.

Kimberley stood up and crossed the room, grabbing the older woman for a hug. "Thank you so much Col. Carter, you won't even know I'm here!"

"That's alright Kimberley, now I'm sure col. Sheppard or Mack will help you find a room." Sam replied after breaking free.

John walked with Mack and Kimberley, who decided on getting a room before grabbing some clothes from the puddle jumper.

Slowly they stopped outside the door to the south pier. "I'll leave Miss Boyce in your capable hands."

"Bye Col. Sheppard!" Kimberley called to his back, and then turned to Mack. "So, what's the plan?"

"Let's go to the cafeteria first." Mack offered and they look the long route.

Twenty minutes later, they arrived at the mess hall and bumped into Evan Lorne, who was grinning. "Whose birthday is it?"

"No ones." Kimberley looked confused.

"So we've set up three dates for you." Mack began.

Kimberley looked at them then blinked. "I'd rather take my chances with the back up."

As she spun to leave the room, she bumped into Ronon, who grabbed her.

"You guys aren't seriously going to send me on dates are you?" She asked, turning her head to look at Mack, Evan and Scott, who all nodded. "Aren't you guys' part of this super secret, really expensive and dangerous military operation in another galaxy from your own?"

"You're going on these dates Miss Boyce." Mack told her, leaving no room for argument. "We got a message through to Maria, and no one else on Atlantis is looking for romance, so you are going on these dates and you will have fun."

"I'll have fun but I'm not agreeing to go on the dates." Kimberley replied and rolled her eyes. "Okay, when's the first one, where and who with?"

"An hour, cafeteria, and with Mystery Guy number one." Evan grinned.

"Okay." She agreed and went to walk out the room, pausing to stick her head back and look at them. "Ya know yer face is gonne stay that way, aye?"

Evan nodded.

"What did she say?" Ronon asked.

"No idea." He replied and kept nodding.

* * *

Inside Daras stolen puddle jumper Kimberley panicked as she searched through the bins. 'How the hell am I supposed to go through three different dates, haven only had a few hours sleep and having done a night shift? Okay, I've got clothes, make up, and shoes - who the hell left them in here.'

Kimberley sorted through the bins, collecting three separate outfits and her bag of make up, and headed of towards the room she was to use, doubling back to grab the hair dryer that sat at the back of one bin.

* * *

Half an hour later John was walking with Teyla and bumped into someone.

"Sorry." He replied quickly and grabbed them to help steady them. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine John." The female replied and John did a double take.

"Boyce?" He was shocked to say the least.

His eyes swept past her softly flowing hair, the make up on her face that made her look mature and her age, past her clothes that fit her and weren't either too big or too small, and the overall stance that she held herself in.

"Hi Col. Sheppard." Kimberley smiled to him, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. "How are you?"

"Good." He replied, and then blinked. "How are you? Settling in okay?"

"Yeah, I'm getting there." She continued to smile. "Where ya heading?"

"Debriefing room." He answered. "I would show you around but I'm kinda busy-""

"No, no, it's fine, don't worry about it." Kimberley responded and nodded to him. "I'll let you get back to work Col. Sheppard."

"See you later Boyce." He nodded in return.

Before he could round the corner, she called after him. "Oh Col. Sheppard?"

'Damn.' "Yes?" He asked.

"Any message you want me to give Dara when I get back?" She slyly smiled at him.

"Message? No message." John shook his head.

"Okay then." Kimberley grinned like she held the code to Atlantis and left, walking quickly in ridiculously high-heeled shoes.

John watched her for a second then shook his head. 'Crazy insane nut job.'

* * *

Mack and Evan stood at the entrance to the mess hall, waiting for Kimberley to appear.

Evan motioned for the younger man that he had spotted their prey and they began to stalk towards her. "Hey Kimbo."

"Kimbo?" Mack asked.

Evan shrugged. "Its suits her."

Kimberley smiled and nodded to them. "Hey guys, who's the first victim?"

"The one, the only-" Mack began and ducked behind Evan as he finished. "Doctor Kavanaugh."

"No." Kimberley spoke quietly and tried to break away.

Evan and Mack grinned as the each grabbed an arm.

"If you don't let me go I'll kick you with my heels." She warned them.

"Aw, c'mon Kimbo, have some fun." Evan smiled at her and she felt her resolve dissolving.

"The second he says something about my intelligence all Carites bets are off." She replied venomously.

Mack and Evan shared a look. Kimberley watched them then motioned to her arms. The men let her go and she squared her shoulders, before holding her head high and walking to the mess, heading straight for the table where Doctor Kavanaugh was standing alone.

"Doctor Peter Kavanaugh." Kavanaugh smiled to her.

"Student Kimberley Ann Boyce." Kimberley returned, extending her hand to him.

"Student?" He asked as he took a seat.

"Psychology." She bobbed her head and sat down beside him. "Doctor in what?"

Kavanaugh seemed not to hear her.

"So you working on anything just now?" Kimberley asked, trying to appear interested. 'Don't give him any ammunition, don't give him any ammunition.'

"I'm working on a side project that scans teams as they return to see if their body has changed, such as another entity or even medically." Kavanaugh began.

"Sorry but, I thought you were more of a computer scientist than a biological scientist?" Kimberley asked.

"I am a man of many talents." He leered.

"Excuse me a minute." Kimberley stated, finished her drink and stood up.

Kavanaugh watched her walk towards the bathroom, and then stared as she just walked out of the mess hall all together.

"Well?" Mack asked, grabbing her arm as she passed.

Slowly Kimberley blinked. "It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be."

"So how did bachelor number one rate?" Evan asked.

"Four outta ten." Kimberley found herself replying.

"Better than we expected." Evan replied as he pressed his earpiece. "Chuck, who had four?"

"So when's my next date?" Kimberley glared over at Mack, who scratched behind his ear. "He's still doing his rounds but you'll be having a picnic on the north pier. We'll buzz you when he's finished."

"Wait; is he a doctor or nurse? Do I know him?" Kimberley enquired. "Wait, you better get me a new ear piece."

Rodney paused as he walked past. "All radios in the city send and receive signals regardless of the channel."

"Well...I kinda tinkled with the settings for privacy back on Earth." Kimberley blushed. "The radios that we have only send and receive signals to us."

Rodney rolled his eyes and motioned with a sigh for her to follow him.

* * *

After getting a new earpiece and strict instructions not to mess with it, Kimberley started wandering around Atlantis, exploring the ancient city.

Unconsciously her feet took her to a familiar route and she found herself outside of Carsons old quarters.

Smiling sadly, she sighed and ran a hand over the crystals, shaking her head as it allowed her entry freely. 'They have got to seriously lock this place sometime.'

Something looked off about the room; whether it was the new duvet, shoes on a chair or the blinds down on the window, she never could guess.

Kimberley crossed the room and pressed the switch to open them.

"What are you doing?" Someone asked from behind her.

"Ah!" She yelled and spun around, throwing her back to the glass and staring in shock at Carson Beckett standing there, watching her in wonder. "Oh, hey Carson."

"What are you doing in here?" He asked again and placed a basket on the table.

"I was just, you know, coming for a visit." Kimberley smiled and walked towards him. "What's in the basket? Can I see?"

"Sure Kimberley, it's for us anyway." Carson replied and motioned for the balcony. "Shall we?"

"Sure." Kimberley nodded and walked ahead of the apparition.

Outside the sun was high in the sky and there were no clouds in sight. "Nice day for a picnic."

"Aye." Carson smiled at her response. "So how are you finding Atlantis? Looking forward to staying here?"

"It's exciting." She nodded and accepted a bottle of water from him. "I with I could stay longer."

"Well you can always extend it. I'm sure the IOA won't mind."

Kimberley shook her head. "Too many commitments."

As they made small talk and got to know each other better, Carson observed the female but differently than John. The make up on her face had begun to fade, showing her natural red blush and a dimple in her left cheek. The outfit she wore showed off her ample bust and curves. Sure, she could do with loosing weight, but there was something about her, something that was just...right.

'The fact she's Scottish?' He thought as she filled him in on the old firms latest three matched within a month, and mentally shook his head. 'It might have something to do with the fact she isn't freaking over me.'

"What?" Kimberley asked and blushed, ducking her head and checking her clothes as Carson looked confused.

"Huh?"

"What's with the staring?" She asked.

"Nothing hen, you just reminded me ae somethin an a dinnae ken wit." Carson looked at her confused as she laughed. "What?"

"Nothing, just, your accent gets thick like mine when you get flustered." She smiled then yawned. "Sorry Carson."

"No need to apologies." He smiled to her.

Carson watched as she nodded to him, then stood up and turned on the spot, walking to his table and placing a can on it before lying down on his bed, turning to face him.

"I'm just gonna lay here." Kimberley spoke quietly to Carson and then turned to lie on her stomach and hug the pillow, breathing in his scent.

"And I that boring?" He asked her.

"No-no." She replied, opening one eye to look at him. "But I had night shift last night and I'm really tired."

Carson nodded and played with his own can before sitting it beside hers and relaxing on the bed, lying on his back.

Within minutes, Kimberley was snoring slightly in his ear.

Slowly, in her sleep, Kimberley cuddled closer to him, before finally getting comfortable half on his chest, her and curled around his top, pulling him closer to her.

Carson smiled as he put his arm around her and cuddled her closer.

* * *

Hours later Kimberley woke up alone and sighed discontent. Fixing her clothes she ran a hand through her hair before quickly shoving it up in a messy bun and left the room. She had been walking for ten minutes before Mack tracked her down.

"There you are Miss Boyce!" He shouted across the corridor. "Ready for date number three?"

Still half a sleep Kimberley nodded and followed him to the mess hall. 'When was date number two?'

"Here ya go Kimbo, date number three." Evan grinned and stepped back from her latest date.

"Sergeant Stackhouse." Stackhouse introduced himself. "Call me Boyan."

"Boyan?" Kimberley asked, her head falling to the side slightly.

"It's French." He replied.

"Oh, cool." Kimberley nodded, before grabbing a tray from the pile and moving in line. "So, what did you do today?"

"Saved team threes ass again." He grinned, grabbing a bear as she took water and nodded to the Chef. "Hey Rotella, how's life behind the island?"

"Never hungry, always got a roof over my head and I can fire my guys without them shooting me." Rotella replied, handing over two chicken meals. "We still on for the poker tournament tonight?"

Boyan nodded. "South pier?"

Rotella shook his head. "The roof above the room is structurally unsafe."

Stackhouse nodded and the two made their way to an empty table near a window.

They sat in silence, each unsure how to continue the conversation. "No offence Kimberley, but the amount of small natural disasters you get mixed up in, and our personality differences..."

"It's okay Boyan." Kimberley nodded her understanding, instantly relieved. "How's the team anyway?"

"Well, Cole got promoted to 15, and Jones is in the infirmary, damn wet wipe slept with a high priestess who then wanted to sacrifice his waho."

"He freak out?" Kimberley guessed.

Boyan shook his head. "Had a mental breakdown. Been blubbering like a baby for three days."

"Is Jones the scientist of Russian?"

"Russian."

The entire mess hall turned to look at them as they burst out laughing.

"You got any more dates?" Boyan asked when they calmed down and finished their dinner.

"Nope, you're the last one." She smiled to him.

"You staying here all week?" He asked.

She nodded, and then yawned. "Sorry, can't wait to get a good sleep. When are you next off world?"

"Either when Jones gets better or we replace him." Boyan suddenly eyeballed her. "You wanna go off world?"

"No-no-no-no, no." Her head shook frantically. "Bad idea. Every time I go through the gate something bad happens."

Stackhouse nodded and took their plates up to the pass and picked up another two beers. Cracking them open he passed one to her and she sniffed it. He grinned. "Its Zelenkas home brew."

"thanks." she smiled and held the beers neck to him. "Happy National Singles Awareness Day."

"Happy valentines day." he replied and they clinked their bottles, Stackhouse grinning as Kimberley sipped it, smacked her lips and chugged the bottle.

* * *

"So did you have fun?" Evan asked.

"Any winners?" Mack jumped to ask.

''It's been interesting.'' Kimberley nodded her head slowly, smiling as she hugged the duo. ''Thank You.''

''So which of our lucky bachelors is the lucky winner?'' Mack questioned.

''None of them.'' Kimberley shook her head.

''What?'' they cried in sync. ''What about-''

''If I'm going to have a relationship I want it to be with someone who is like minded, who isn't an obvious drinker.'' she sighed. ''Someone who is real.''

''And that guy isn't here?'' Evan was pretty sure his hearing was off.

Sitting her lip Kimberley shook her head. ''He was here, but he died.''

''Think she's talking about doc?'' Evan whispered to Mack.

Mack shook his head. ''Naa, he was date number two.''

Kimberley yawned. "If you guys don't mind, I'm going to head to bed."

"So where is your room?" Mack asked.

Kimberley blushed and mumbled something, "No need to walk me guys, and I'll come and find you tomorrow."

"Actually we're going off world tomorrow." Evan told her.

Kimberley grinned. "Good, means I can sleep till you guys get back."

"You sure we can't walk you?" Mack asked again.

"I'm not gonna get lost guys, I know this route off by heart." She promised then, and waved them good-bye before heading to the puddle jumper bay that Cadman had flew the jumper to earlier.

"Miss Boyce, there you are." Dr. Baxter said as they bumped into each other in the hall. "I understand it was your birthday recently?"

"Middle of January." Kimberley was suspicious of the psychologist. 'He wasn't part of the original set up, where did he come from?' "Why?"

"I have a gift for you." He smiled and brought up a murky brown object from his side.

"Thank you! Why?" She asked,

"I always get my friends something on their birthday." He replied and smiled. "And you look like the kind of woman that likes penguins."

"It's a penguin?" She blinked and looked closer before squeeing and hugging the penguin teddy, then reaching over to grab him in a hug.

"Ah, you're welcome, Miss Boyce." Baxter responded and patted her back awkwardly.

"Call me Kimberley. Or Kimbo!" She offered.

"I will, Kimberley." He smiled, and then increased his smile as she tried to hide a yawn. "Now, off to bed with you."

'He's like what, thirty five? He sounds ancient!' Kimberley thought to herself and nodded, thanking him again, once more heading towards the jumper bay.

Entering the room, she looked around for anyone before sliding her hand over the control crystals, smiling as the hatch fell open soundlessly.

Walking into the jumper she stopped short at the sight of John Sheppard sitting on the captain chair, his feet up on her usual co captains chair. "Col. Sheppard?"

John jumped, limbs flailing in every direction. "Jesus!"

"What are you doing in here?" Kimberley asked, grabbing er bag and opening an overhead bin, selecting a few bundles of clothing and shoved them into the bag.

"Waiting to speak to you." John replied, walking towards her. "I want to lay down some ground rules."

Kimberley smiled to him and nodded for him to continue.

"You are not allowed off world, in any of the labs, near the infirmary, south pier, training rooms, gate room." He paused. "Basically anywhere that requires security clearance."

Kimberleys smile fell but she nodded. "Is that it?"

John looked to think about it before nodding. "If we are invaded, stay in the room you are in."

"Alright." She agreed and watched him leave. 'Was it just me or was he mean and cold?'

Shaking her head Kimberley finished packing and left the puddle jumper, then the room.

* * *

A short time later Kimberley slowly walked past Carson's old bedroom and her happy smile began to fade.

As she walked past it the door opened and Carson stepped out, jumping back to avoid hitting her. "Kimberley!"

"Hey Carson." She smiled at him.

"Felling better?" He asked.

"Yes, going for round two now." She grinned and yawned again. "Sorry for falling asleep earlier, I know how precious your time is."

Carson sighed sadly.

"What's up Scottish man?" Kimberley asked.

"You're the only one that doesn't freak when they see me." Carson smiled sadly to her. "I think you are the only one that likes to see me."

"The others don't understand, that's all." She moved to place a hand on his shoulder, but stopped at the last second.

Carson placed a hand on her shoulder, which caused her eyes to widen. "Thank you hen. Now, is anything er, coming about, I suppose ah could say, from today?"

"No." Kimberley shook her head.

"No?" Carson was confused, and looked slightly hurt. "No one of the men caught yer fancy?"

"There is someone, and you know who he is." She laughed to herself. "But I can't start a relationship here, I'm not here for long enough and I don't want my heart broken. And I don't want to pine after someone that is both outta my league, and at the same time not even here."

Carson nodded to her sadly, and then put a smile on his face. "Well, I hope everyone can still remain friends."

"God I hope so!" Kimberley smiled brightly to him.

They stood in a weird silence before Carson looked at the time. "Sorry hen, but ah hive tae go."

"No, no, go its fine." She smiled to him. "Will I ever see you again?"

"Aye, coarse you will!" He agreed, and bent down to kiss her on the check. "Later Girlsy."

"Like I've never heard that one before!" She yelled at his back before sighing, turning and walking towards the quarters next to Carsons.

* * *

"Bye guys." Kimberley hugged them at the end of the week.

Rodney looked around.

"Hey Rodney, here to see me off?" Kimberley asked.

'Not likely.' He thought and shook his head. "I'm looking for Sheppard, can't find him anywhere."

Ronon noticed Kimberleys back straighten a bit, and the way her entire body tensed.

"No idea." She obviously lied to him, messing with her hair before waving good-bye to them again and rushing into the puddle jumper.

* * *

Dara trudged up the stairs. A week of peace and she was nothing but knackered.

'Oh well, peace and quiet over with.' She thought, opening her door and blinked.

John Sheppard sat in the middle of her bed, a scowl on his face and a big red bow on his head.

"Happy Valentines day D." Dara stared at her computer in shock, watching her friend smirk at her. "And I'll bring the jumper back next week."

"Kimberley!" She yelled at the computer, staring in shock as a Skype message popped up. 'She never logs out.'

"I know you're going to have a girl moment Baldwin." John called out and Dara turned to him. "But can you untie me first?"


End file.
